Trouble With Twins
by xxCerezasxx
Summary: The Malloys won't stop hitting on Linus, and he doesn't know what to do about it.


Trouble with Twins

**I do not own anything associated with the Ocean's movies**

Trouble with Twins

Linus first noticed something was wrong the day Turk and Virgil picked him up from the airport. That alone was cause for alarm, he was never picked up, he either called a cab to take him to the hotel or the house or wherever they were meeting for their next heist, or he was forced to rent a car because _he_ had to pick someone up, usually give Danny and Rusty a ride somewhere. The strangest part about the car ride was that he was given the passenger seat, when, for as long as he'd known the twins, Turk and Virgil always sat in the front seats. He ignored it though, ignored the way they fought over who got to drive, them discussed something in low, hushed tones, all he could make out were the words _"Linus"_ and "_next to"_. He wasn't sure what they were talking about, but he didn't like the way Turk smiled triumphantly and started the car, his hand brushing Linus' leg as he undid the parking brake.

It turned stranger when they actually arrived at the hotel, the twins argued over who got to carry his bag upstairs. Virgil succeeded and ran up the stairs with Turk chasing after him, shouting that "the little fucker better give it back before he kicked his ass". He took the elevator to his room, and later that evening, he could have sworn he was missing a pair of boxers.

"You look nice Linus." Turk said to him the next morning when he came out for breakfast. Rusty looked up from his bowl of Trix cereal with a blond eyebrow raised, Danny's expression was clear confusion, and Livingston choked and spit his coffee into Basher's face.

"Uh, thanks." He concentrated on watching Basher wipe at his face with a napkin, watched Rusty chew with a smile. "I'm gonna go out and get something to eat."

They were all watching television after a meeting when it happened again, the twins both sat beside him on the couch, Turk on the left, Virgil on the right.

"You smell nice Linus, what kind of cologne do you use?" Virgil leaned in close, he could feel his breath on his neck as he inhaled and exhaled briefly, warm and cool air moving over his skin.

"I don't know, whatever my roommate keeps in the bathroom, I just steal his." Everyone was staring at them now, Basher, Rusty, Danny, and Frank with a smile, Livingston, Yen, Saul, and Rueben with looks of horror, like they sympathized with him and would help if they could. "I need to use the bathroom." He all but ran out of the room.

"I'll save your spot!" Turk called after him, but he never returned, the five locks on his hotel room door didn't feel like enough. Even after the chain slid into place, the bolt was fastened, and he clicked the lock in the door handle, he didn't feel safe; the twins were thieves after all.

"You know Turk and Virgil are hitting on you right?" Rusty asked the next morning after he'd carefully searched the room for any sign of the Mormon thieves.

"No shit. I don't know what to do." He dropped his head into his hands with a sigh, pulled his knees up to his chest, terrified and flattered in the same moment.

"Bend over, grit you teeth, take it like a man." Rusty was no help at all.

"You're disgusting; maybe I'll just tell them I'm not gay."

"But you are gay. I've been in your apartment, I met Jake. Don't give me that "he's just my roommate crap"." Rusty was eating M&M's despite the fact it was ten in the morning, his breath smelled like chocolate and peanuts, warm and sweet.

"Yeah, but if I tell them…"

"They're going to do it regardless Linus, just don't bend over to pick anything up when they drop something. They look like they're all hands." Rusty laughed quietly and left the room, pausing briefly before shutting the door completely. "By the way, they're going to be here in five minutes."

He'd almost made it to his room before he saw them.

They didn't try to touch him until the last day of the heist, Danny and Rusty had thought it would be amusing to put him and Turk and Virgil in the same room, for hours, just waiting for their role in the heist.

"You look tense buddy." Turk whispered directly into his ear, his voice low and husky, his hands gluing themselves to Linus' shoulders, rubbing little circles into the muscle. He didn't know what to do, what to say, but his breathing sped up, his chest moving up and down rapidly, his heart beating so quickly he thought it was going to jump out of his chest.

"Maybe that's because you're touching him." Virgil shoved Turk's hands away, only to replace them with his own, but much lower, almost on his inner thighs.

"Maybe it's because he has to look at your ugly face!" Turk tackled his brother; they fought on the floor long enough for Linus to slip away without them noticing.

Turk and Virgil insisted on driving him to the airport the next morning, and he was pulled into two very awkward hugs. He could feel Virgil breathe in his scent again, and Turk's hands grabbed his ass, squeezed firmly, he flinched every time someone on the plane accidentally bumped into him.

"How'd the job go Linus?" His dad asked the first morning after he returned from Vegas, a bit calmer but not any less traumatized by the hundreds of miles between him and the twins.

"I…." He stared down at the floor, gripped the couch cushions between his fingers. "I don't want to talk about it."


End file.
